Distractedness

Time for a confession. Easier typed than spoken, at least for me.

I had a conference (which I requested, so be extra proud of me...it was hard! I don't like asking for things or suggesting problems or being the center of attention!) with Jeremiah's principal, teacher and IEP team (which consists of his speech therapist, occupational therapist, physical therapist and her assistant, school psychologist, and I only requested to meet with the principal and everyone else was tacked on) to try to get Jeremiah out of "necessary" kindergarten next year. His birthday's 5 days before the cut off, but they won't budge. The district, that is. The deadline's the deadline, unless we completely take him out of the public school system, which, on John's stipend would be ridiculous.

At the conference, Jeremiah's teacher mentioned him being frequently distracted.

This was a couple weeks ago. Yesterday as I was dropping him off at school, she "was wondering if she'd mentioned the possibility of ADD at our meeting, or just that he got distracted," because, if it's okay with me, they'd like to do some testing for ADD as they're getting paperwork ready for next year.

I looked up the DSM criteria for ADD (which is really now only AD/HD, often abbreviated as ADHD), and he would need to fit 6 criterion out of 9, and I feel as though he fits nicel into 5 of them at home. If his teacher adds a couple more from school...There we go. I think the "testing" involved is just the school psychologist going over the criteria with both me and Jeremiah's teacher, seperately, and see where Jeremiah is.

One interesting thing about this is that 3 of the 5 criterion that I feel Jeremiah fits are jsut as easliy described by his autism. So there seems to be a huge overlap to me.

However, I think that if Jeremiah has ADD (AD/HD) on his school records, it might be one more thing that will help to get him the extra helps he needs. I think.

So, when I was writing about what I do with my kids, partly it was because I feel like I need to help fix this. That I need to have structured time with my kids, as a group, where they are expected to sit and listen and hopefully answer some questions, where they play together by taking turns and sharing and not having a tantrum when someone else gets ahead in CandyLand because we ALL recognize that we can play again in a few minutes, where their attention is lengthened, where they follow verbal directions, where they become more independent.

Danielle and Isaac ARE independent. I think most kids are. "No, Danielle do it!" Getting into and buckling herself in her carseat, brishing her teeth, brushing her hair, washing herself in the tub. Isaac doesn't need to verbally express that, he's old enough to grab his toothbrush (well, and tall enough) after we say our family prayer at night. But Jeremiah doesn't naturally do things for himself. He'd prefer for less to have to happen so he can be in his own little world. In December, his teacher asked if I have him dress himself...and I didn't. I mostly did it for him. So, now he dresses himself. I just hadn't thought about it.

I'm not trying to be SuperMom. I'm just trying to make sure I make Jeremiah be involved with us (I've played many games and read many books with him in the room, but really, to Isaac and Danielle). It's not something that comes naturally. So now, we sit on the quilt spread across the floor and have story time and music time (Jeremiah calls it Sound Time). I force him to do things that are Required. Yes, you Have to fold your arms for a prayer. Yes, you Have to sit here dring the story. It CAN'T just be what he wants to do. We do what he likes, too. But he HAS to learn to do what someone else (for example, me...and his teachers) wants him to do.

I don't want him to be medicated, especally at 4, for ADD. I think that's ridiculous. Though having kids teaches me to be more humble than I would have expected--I know I was right before I had kids, and now I'm getting all confused.